Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
