i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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