You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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