almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
