I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
soo... how was my night?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
