Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
