if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
