My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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