I'm eating all of the evidence.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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