he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
