ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
