You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
