Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I forget how to act sober
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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