HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
