I'm really into asian looking animals
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize