someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
