I just made out with a guy for $7.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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