I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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