There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
