I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
