we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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