he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
