EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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