HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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