I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
