those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
