It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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