If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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