After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
