Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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