She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
