I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
