In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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