I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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