if i died would you start the facebook group?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize