You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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