if i died would you start the facebook group?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
