come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
