I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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