i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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