You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
