I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize