I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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