Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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