my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
