Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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