We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish I only lived at night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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