drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
