My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Randomize
