Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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