She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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