i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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