hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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