So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
