forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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