Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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