Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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