Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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