His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
