it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
